Tom Lettering - Feedback needed

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I'm designing a lettering for a dear friend. It could possibly end up as a Tattoo so I'm scared s*&tless :)

Forget about the color treatment and shadow, the ideia is to get this basic lettering to look like it deserves to be on somebody's forearm for good :)

It's not that I want to hear opinions and feedback, it's that it would be a matter of life and death :)

Thanks!

P.S: In the attachment, the original edding 1340 brushpen sketches (after a ton of other unworthy candidates).

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