I initially thought that the type was supposed to be the wick to the bomb - then I thought about it & wasn't so sure. Maybe an idea worth either playing up or moving away from, just so that it's clear what your intentions were?
I find it odd that the curls on the C, l, k, A, & z have shadows to make them overlap, but there are none in Boom.
I'd like to see the explosion at the end of the A line up better with the direction closing edge of the A, same with the C & the bomb. (I hope that makes sense).
Anyway, I love it! Just being picky because you were looking for feedback.
I agree with @55 Hi's comment, maybe adding a burning fuse would help, I really like the red / orange color near the A. Having a fuse or something else, would allow you to bring more of those colors into this piece. Good work man
it does have a christmas feel. But that's ok with me because i think christmas stuff (especially recently) has taken a 'nostalgic' turn and uses a lot of the old vintage-y feeling stuff, which I think is what you're going for.
what throws me off:
The shadows, as mentioned before.
The left curve on that A. It's very wonky and goofy (this is not a criticism), and it makes me wonder if adding this imperfect feel to the rest of the type would help it feel less christmas-y.
The type is the fuse. I get that. I do think that the beginning of it (coming from the bomb) should get closer to that entrance to make it apparent that it IS coming out of there. I think you could add a few hints of texture to show that it IS a rope, but i don't think it has to be too literal. You are, after all, spelling words with a rope that's on fire.
That being said, I do think that the fuse needs to connect. I don't think it needs to necessarily go in order of the letters and make all of them...but there needs to be a path from beginning to end. I think you have the opportunity for it to connect all three of the capital letters. They're almost connecting as is.
That bomb IS pretty shiny and has a christmas ornament feel. Maybe forget highlighting it and add some scratches to it instead?
anywho, that's my two cents on what is a very exciting piece! Looking forward to seeing the end product
9 Responses
Pro
Andrew Power
Looking for some actual critique on this one, not sure if it's done and if it's not what else I should do.
3 months ago
I'm a fan, but the bomb itself looks a bit like a shiny christmas ball/tree decoration. Maybe a less festive color on that element?
3 months ago
Pro
Meghan Robichaud
I initially thought that the type was supposed to be the wick to the bomb - then I thought about it & wasn't so sure. Maybe an idea worth either playing up or moving away from, just so that it's clear what your intentions were?
I find it odd that the curls on the C, l, k, A, & z have shadows to make them overlap, but there are none in Boom.
I'd like to see the explosion at the end of the A line up better with the direction closing edge of the A, same with the C & the bomb. (I hope that makes sense).
Anyway, I love it! Just being picky because you were looking for feedback.
3 months ago
Pro
Andrew Power
These are great critiques! The christmas ornament thing has come up a few times, I really need to figure that one out.
3 months ago
Pro
Diana
That's a tough problem! I think it would be solved by making the bomb black, but that probably wouldn't look so hot with the background.
3 months ago
Pro
55 Hi's
I think adding a burning fuse connected to the bomb, even at the expense of the C flourish might really help that.
3 months ago
Pro
Andrew Power
I had also considered adding a rope-like stripe to the text to stress the fact that its supposed to be a fuse. Thoughts?
3 months ago
Pro
Brenton Rawlinson
I agree with @55 Hi's comment, maybe adding a burning fuse would help, I really like the red / orange color near the A. Having a fuse or something else, would allow you to bring more of those colors into this piece. Good work man
3 months ago
Pro
Nathan Trafford
love this.
i got the fuse thing immediately.
it does have a christmas feel. But that's ok with me because i think christmas stuff (especially recently) has taken a 'nostalgic' turn and uses a lot of the old vintage-y feeling stuff, which I think is what you're going for.
what throws me off:
The shadows, as mentioned before.
The left curve on that A. It's very wonky and goofy (this is not a criticism), and it makes me wonder if adding this imperfect feel to the rest of the type would help it feel less christmas-y.
The type is the fuse. I get that. I do think that the beginning of it (coming from the bomb) should get closer to that entrance to make it apparent that it IS coming out of there. I think you could add a few hints of texture to show that it IS a rope, but i don't think it has to be too literal. You are, after all, spelling words with a rope that's on fire.
That being said, I do think that the fuse needs to connect. I don't think it needs to necessarily go in order of the letters and make all of them...but there needs to be a path from beginning to end. I think you have the opportunity for it to connect all three of the capital letters. They're almost connecting as is.
That bomb IS pretty shiny and has a christmas ornament feel. Maybe forget highlighting it and add some scratches to it instead?
anywho, that's my two cents on what is a very exciting piece! Looking forward to seeing the end product
3 months ago