Yahoo.™

I'm pleased to announce today—along with Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer's revelation of the company's relocation to Manhattan—that I've not been invited to hand-craft the new Yahoo. identity.

In a bold move, Yahoo has not allowed me to replace its venerated "slanty-up" type treatment and "1995 called..." punctuation with a fresh-yet-classy script, polished off with a delightfully-understated "period."

Mayer didn't say, "We hope this will show the lovely people of New York City, and the world really, that Yahoo. is once again a timeless classic—a throwback to a simpler time—we're not just another Silicon Valley 'dot com'... I mean, we only have the dot now. Well it's still Yahoo.com but... anyways."

"We now have an elegance for the ages—Woohoo!" she didn't add, mistakenly bringing back the exclamation point.